“My teachers and parents thought I wasn’t ready to go to college when I was an incoming freshman. I became an alcoholic my freshman year and almost flunked out as a virgin with practically no friends. Sophomore year, I smoked way too much weed and grew some balls to start using the trial and error method with some decent looking girls. Junior Year I figured it all out. My four roommates were constantly fighting over who’s king of the apartment. I left that shit ASAP. Locked down a long term, attractive friends with benefits for a few months. Senior year came around, I had lots of sex, smoked a lot, drank a lot, and I’m still baby & STD free about to make my way into the sports industry after interning with the NFL over the summer. Now all I want/need is a loyal, attractive, not psycho, or way too bitchy girl I can be with for long term. That seems impossible now even with the arrow pointing straight up.”

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