Authors Posts by Robert Sherrell

Robert Sherrell

32 POSTS 0 COMMENTS

Confessions from People on Academic Probation Next Year

0

Boston Massachusetts Institute of Technology campus with trees a

With the fall semester over, there are sure to be some low GPA’s out there. Trust me, we read these confessions. There is no way you can do all the shit you send us and still be in good academic standing. As fun goes up, grades go down. Judging by the stuff you sent us, you had a kick ass semester. Here are some confessions from people that had a really fun semester.

Don’t forget your parents expectations, your chances of getting a good job, etc.

That’s what FOX does with the ratings for Bob’s Burgers.

Got your future in the cut and ….okay I’m sorry but that song is terrible. You’re screwed.

Don’t be upset, it takes a village man.

Sounds like a challenge to anyone with a 4.0 to me.

Okay, this guys GPA isn’t low. I just thought this was awesome.

I they let you can read this from jail.

You better move! You better dance! …your ass to the library.

Not to late to do your professor. Actually it is. Oh well.

Next year you can put on some sweats and go as a dropout.

 (1)

20 Things That Need to Stay in 2014

0

Snapcash1

The last 365 days were full of great things also some not so great things. What a very eventful year this was. I can think of no better way to celebrate than to make a list of all the f*cking things that I hated about 2014. The new year shows so much promise. Let’s hope the following things keeps their asses away from 2015.

1. Ice J.J. Fish

2. Bath Bombs

3. The Phrase “Bae AF”

4. Ebola

5. Bill Cosby

6. All the Collegefession Fake and Reject Accounts

7. Ray Rice

8. Police Brutality

9. Iggy Azalea

10. The Oakland Raiders

11. The Torture Report

12. Disappearing Planes

13. Alex from Target

14. All of North Korea

15. Snapcash

16. The Word “Fleek”

17. Lil Wayne Signed to Cash Money

18. Kermit the Frog and Any Form of Tea

19. Starter Packs

20. All of the Los Angeles Lakers Except for Kobe and Swaggy P

 (3)

Top 10 Christmas Confessions

0

Wooden christmas background with red santa hats for a festive fr

Christmas is a time to connect with family and bond over the love and cheer found in the air around this magical time of year. It’s also the time to get freaking wasted and do really crazy shit! Some of the best Collegefessions come from the most wonderful time of the year. Here are a few of them from past and present Christmas seasons.

 

Hey bitch, nobody cares. Except the girl you’re screwing over. She probably care a lot.

 

Nothing says Merry Christmas like encouraging your child’s drug habit.

 

Now THIS is what Christmas is all about!

Wishing for the same thing man, year after year.

You must have given Santa a bribe or something.

Girls are temporary but a cat ….a cat is forever.

That’s like Iggy Azalea asking for the ability to rap. It aint gonna happen.

 

Hope you got some gift cards to Planned Parenthood.

Give her the gift of a restraining order.

Pretty sure your country doesn’t celebrate Christmas. #Merica

 

 (0)

Confessions from People with Sucky Lives

0

Life has it’s ups and downs. Those downs can really be a doozy… if they happen to us. If they happen to someone else, it makes for a good chuckle or two. Prepare to laugh at the misfortune of other as they beg us to “f*ck their lives”.

 

She hit you with the Reverse Friendzone Psychology. Damn you Freud, works like a charm.

At this point I don’t know if he used you for sex or to catch up on the Walking Dead.

If it’s “bros before hoes” and you have sex with his bros, does that make you a hoe? Yes, yes it does.

The REAL question is, did you swipe left or right?

Wait! Let’s go back to the one above. Why are your age settings up so damn high? What are you searching for ages 18-45? Cougar chaser? You’re just taking anything that will come your way huh?  So many of these questions need answers.

 

Moving on…

 

This isn’t hopeless. They teaches at a community college, odds are their standards aren’t that high.

We thank you. You are fighting over seas so we can have all the shameful sex we want. Salute!

 

Umm this isn’t a FML moment at all. You should be giving lessons to the person above.

Okay….  so who’s dick did he send you. Please tell me you asked him.

Lil Wayne also rhymed the word pussy with pussy. I think he has his flaws.

And the award for most Suckiest Life goes to….

 (0)

Top Confessions from Community Colleges

0

[AdSense-A]

Community colleges are like spiders.

They aren’t very popular but they are necessary in balancing the collegiate ecosystem of money and education. That and they are freaking everywhere. I salute those that sacrifice the lifestyle of going to a 4 year school to get their degree for half the price or to stay close to home. No judgments here you educationally debt free pioneers!

Hey we get drunk at public universities too thank you very much!

Top Pregnancy Confessions

0

Parenthood is a beautiful thing.

….if you’re a couple in your late twenties or early thirties that is fairly established and has lived a fun and adventurous young adult life.

In college it is about as good as paper cut on your butt hole. (Don’t wipe your ass with index cards people.)

This is a s/o to all the newest parents on campus.

That’s why you use protection your first time. You don’t just hop on a two wheeled bike without starting off with some training wheels.

 

You typed this while crying didn’t you? ….didn’t you?

Pull out game is basically unnecessary at this point.

 

You sir, are not shit! *Picks option B*

 

I hear they do birthday parties on the Maury Show.

When they ask why you’re not lifting your boxes on move in day, you’ll have a pretty valid reason.

You had a 35 pound baby?!

You just picked up two kids for the price of one.

You are the most unlucky lucky bastard I have ever read a tweet about.

Karma. Is. A. B*tch.

 (0)

The best of “…I’m a girl.” Confessions

0

Every couple of confessions we get a few that take initiative to remind us that they own a set of female reproductive organs. You young women are hard at work keeping up with males in the collegiate world of sex, drugs, and alcohol. In our patriarchal society, your efforts are applauded and must be recognized.

This one’s for you ladies.

Please write a book and teach a class on your ways and how you do it.

In honor of No Shave November….

Tongue game too skrong!

I’m more amazed at the fact that you did all this at a party YOU hosted. How did you find the time? I’ve hosted a few parties and I barely have time to tie my shoe if it comes undone.

LIES! Girls don’t poop! I’m flagging this tweet…

Guy or girl this is not okay.

Aye what’s your Gamertag fam?

That’s what friends are for. If you’re not having butt sex with your best friend can you really call them your “friend”?

Did he make you a turkey sandwich with a couple slices of “Get out of my apartment.”

So where you the customer or the service provider?

 (1)

Top Confessions From Cheaters and Homewreckers

0

Cheating is so common among students that we literally get hundreds and hundreds of confessions about it.

Here are some of the most Collegefession Worthy confessions about people who will soon be or should have been single.

P.S. You all are terrible people.

“Now you get to watch ’em leave out the window guess that’s why they call it ‘window pane’…”

Smh, what the hell did I just read?

Could be worse bro. You could be sober and alone while she is out cheating. #BeGrateful

Honestly, I’m more interested in where he transferred to that’s 20 hours away. Tokyo State?

She could be just trying to meet cool people to hang out with. Right?

That sounds like a Lifetime movie in the making. Pop some popcorn and enjoy the advanced screening.

 

Yes, but has she thought about it? Women think about cheating more than men do. #Fact

 

Yes, hashtagging “please stop” is certain to make her change her ways.

 

Let this be a lesson: Nobody is worth be stuck going to community college for. Unless you’re dating Beyonce, there will be plenty of fish in the see at a college away from home.

 

Remember:

Long distance relationships can be dangerous for your partner and your genitals dangerous.

Date responsibly.

 (2)

Top 10 Oral Sex Confessions

0

Here are a bunch of the best fellatio related confessions that are at the “head” of their class that I could find. Some of the other really “sucked”. Check and see if  yours or someone from your school “topped” the list.

Regular guys need head too…

What doesn’t kill him can only make him stronger.

Must be allergic to cats.

It’s just good manners.

*Books flight to Philly*

This is more of a fact than a confession.

Do they sell you in stores and if so, what aisle?

Period. Point. Blank.

Yes, it’s found in the Official Rulebook for Lasting Relationships.

It literally took me 14 minutes to think of a witty comment for this one and I just could think of one. Blowjobs are no laughing matter sir. They are serious concerns of society like Ebola or Amanda Bynes. Show some respect.

 (0)

Collegefession’s “Would you rather…” [Vote Now!]

0
Read a Collegefession?

or

Make a Collegefession?
Never have sex again?

or

Never use protection again?
Drop your favorite class?

or

Drop a brick on your face?
Graduate 2 years early?

or

Graduate 3 years late?
Show your parents your transcript?

or

Never drink Starbucks again?
Sit in the front row of your lecture everyday?

or

Take an alcohol education class?
Never watch Netflix again?

or

Only watch one show for the rest of your life?
Lick a frat house bathroom doorknob?

or

Never sleep with your FWB again?
Fail your favorite class?

or

Hookup with all of your Tinder matches?
Sit through a 3 hour lecture everyday?

or

Never drink your favorite beer?
Have 5 Friday classes?

or

Have an 8am everyday?

 

 (3)

Submit