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Algonquin College – I am about to finish my first semester in college coming out of high school. I have been playing rugby (Scrum-half) for four years now at the under-18 level for my local club and dicked around on my high school team as well. I will be turning 19 this January, and be forced to moved up to play with the big boys in mens league if I want to continue playing rugby (which I do). I am a decently small lad at 5’6”, 135lbs … I am by no means scronny or weak (Benching more than body weight, and squatting 30 less than double), but I definitely don’t think I am going to be able to compete against guys 5”+ taller, and 40+lbs heavier than I. Thoughts? If I’m being a pussy, call me out on it. Cheers.

This is going to be a difficult thing for me to advise on, seeing as I’ve never played rugby in my life. I’m a tennis player/lacrosse thoroughbred, and although size is decently important in lacrosse there are always exceptions to the rule. The average NCAA Division 1 player is often 40 lbs and three inches taller than the average Division 3 player. So at your size, where does that leave you with rugby? Well, first of all, are you going to risk significant bodily harm to play? If you’re going to amass ten concussions over the course of playing rugby just for the sake of “trying to be tough” it’s really not going to be worth it when you’re eating through a straw at 35. Honestly, if there is a place for you on the team at that size I would absolutely try to play. I just would encourage you to know and understand your limits.

Ivy Tech – My girlfriend of 10 months who was also my best friend left me after a heated argument even after we talked and said she loved me and missed me but has still moved on to another guy the guy is just using her and i think she is starting to have real feelings for her how do i get her to talk to me and explain why shes doing what shes did or get her back or at least as a friend or how do i show her this guy is lying to her about his whole life and what he does and is just using her for everything but shes blind to it and only thinks im talking shit and trying to ruin her happiness i care about her and don’t want her to be hurt but also want to see why she did what she did to me ?

First thing’s first – do you know what a f***ing comma is? That physically was painful for me to read. Okay, let’s start at the beginning. You sound like you’re overreacting. I don’t mean to sound like a jackass, but you dated for less than a year. How much do you think you really get to know about someone in under ten months? There’s no reason to believe that there isn’t someone else out there for you. What if she’s happy? Who are you to get in the way of someone else who is happy? That’s not fair in the least bit. Leave her alone. I know you care about her and that that is a hard thing to grasp, but you really can’t do anything else. And she thinks you’re just trying to ruin her happiness? Of course you are. Nobody wants the other person to be happy after a breakup. As I’ve said to other people before about breakups, you don’t have to win the breakup. You really don’t.

UW – Hey Jake. So I’ve been really good friends with this girl since 7th grade and we are now both freshmen in college (though we are at different colleges in different states). Neither of us have ever really been in a serious thing with anybody either. I’ve liked her pretty much the entire time I’ve known her and only recently did she confess that she has feelings for me, too, but she said she was scared to start a relationship since we would be so far away from each other. I’ve only seen her a few times over breaks when we’re both back home, but we still talk all the time and talk about a future together, but she still gets nervous about the idea of being in a relationship now, whenever I bring it up. I guess I’m just confused as to why she’s afraid? Hopefully your input can give me an idea of what’s going on.

She’s scared, dude. You’ve been great friends for a long time, what if suddenly entering a relationship changes that? What if it’s weird and you can’t go back to being friends? Even though I usually advise against starting out in a relationship with someone via LDR (long distance relationship for sportsfans playing along), it can work if you are willing to put forth the effort. The problem and HUGE red flag here is that neither of you has ever been in a serious thing with anyone. Why is that bad, you might ask? Neither of you have f***ed up before. You haven’t made mistakes in the past that you had a chance to learn from. So if you want your first relationship to be with her, you’re assuming WAY more risk. Know what I mean? She has every right to be afraid and it sounds like she’s only afraid because she cares a lot for how you feel. And that’s pretty cool.

UW Platteville – What’s your gamertag?

XxX_360noScOpE_xXx

High School – I’m a junior in high school and my boyfriend was suppose to go to a college, that’s 8 hours away, this fall (2014) but some issues happened and he couldn’t go. So he’s either going in the spring of 2015 or the fall. We really love each other and we’ve been together for over a year now. But I’m really concerned as to how we’ll keep the relationship going while he’s away. Obvoiusly we’ll FaceTime and text but what should we do to handle our future long-distance relationship?

I really feel for you in this situation, because it’s probably the worst thing for both of you. You’re going from constant communication and seeing each other to the exact opposite. You’ll get offended when he’s not responding out enjoying himself during his freshman experience, thinking that if he really wanted to talk to you he’d make the effort blah blah I know how it goes. Just know this – as much as both of you love each other, this will not work unless both of you are willing to make it work. It will involve lots LOTS of patience, and plenty of understanding. Neither of you have been to college yet, so you won’t understand me when I say that he will get caught up in a new life and you will get offended by his actions, whether they be harmless or not. Just think long and hard about what you want.

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